Walking on Eggshells – The High Cost of Avoiding Challenging Conversations

By Mary Eniolu | 29 January 2025

 

Challenging conversations are an inevitable part of life, whether in the workplace, at home, or in social interactions. Yet, many people avoid them due to fear, discomfort, or uncertainty about the outcome.

While sidestepping difficult discussions may offer short-term relief, the long-term consequences can be damaging to individuals, teams, and entire organizations. In this article, we explore why people avoid challenging conversations, the dangers of avoidance, and how addressing difficult topics can lead to growth and success in both personal and professional life.

 

REASONS PEOPLE AVOID CHALLENGING CONVERSATIONS

1. Fear of Conflict – Many people worry that confronting an issue will lead to tension, arguments, or damaged relationships. They may fear that speaking up will escalate the situation rather than resolve it, leading to hostility or an emotional backlash that they are unprepared to handle.

 

2. Uncertainty About the Outcome – The fear of how the other person will react can cause hesitation. There may be concern that addressing a difficult issue could result in negative consequences such as retaliation, rejection, or an outcome that worsens the situation instead of improving it.

 

3. Emotional Discomfort – Addressing sensitive issues can trigger stress, anxiety, or guilt. Particularly if one is naturally wired to avoid confrontation, one may feel vulnerable discussing difficult topics, especially if they anticipate emotional reactions such as anger, sadness, or defensiveness from the other party.

 

4. Lack of Skills – Feeling as if you don’t have the necessary communication skills to handle difficult conversations effectively may cause you to hold back from dealing with them. Such individuals may struggle with articulating their thoughts clearly, staying calm under pressure, or managing the emotions of both themselves and the other party.

 

5. Desire to Maintain Harmony – Some people prioritize short-term peace over long-term clarity and resolution. They may believe that avoiding difficult discussions keeps relationships intact and prevents unnecessary friction, even if the unresolved issues continue to fester beneath the surface.

 

6. Previous Negative Experiences – A past conversation that ended badly can create apprehension about engaging in another. If someone has experienced rejection, hostility, or a lack of resolution in previous discussions, they may develop an aversion to confronting similar situations in the future.

While these concerns are understandable, avoiding tough conversations can lead to negative repercussions that far outweigh the discomfort of the discussion itself, both for the individual, the team and the organisation. Here is why.

 

DANGERS OF AVOIDING CHALLENGING CONVERSATIONS

For the Individual:

• Increased Stress and Anxiety – Suppressing concerns or frustrations can lead to emotional strain.
• Damaged Relationships – Resentment can build over time, eroding trust and mutual respect.
• Missed Opportunities for Growth – Avoidance prevents individuals from developing crucial conflict resolution and communication skills.
• Lower Self-Esteem – Failing to address important issues can lead to self-doubt and a feeling of powerlessness.

 

For the Team:

• Lack of Trust and Respect – When concerns are not openly discussed, team members may struggle with trust and collaboration and lose the respect of the leader.
• Reduced Productivity – Unspoken issues can lead to lack of motivation, low morale, misalignment, and disengagement, which could all affect productivity.
• Toxic Work Environment – Unresolved tensions can foster gossip, passive-aggressiveness, and a negative atmosphere.
• Missed Innovation and Creativity – Open dialogue encourages the sharing of ideas; when avoided, innovation may be stifled.

 

For the Organization:

• High Employee Turnover – Unaddressed conflicts can lead to dissatisfaction, high levels of stress and fulfillment, which could result in resignations .
• Weakened Leadership – Leaders who avoid difficult conversations may be seen as ineffective or lacking authority.
• Erosion of Company Culture – A culture of avoidance can undermine core values and create a disengaged workforce.
• Reputation Damage – When unresolved issues become public, they can harm an organization’s credibility and brand.

 

CONCLUSION

While avoiding difficult conversations might offer a false sense of peace and harmony, in the long term, they could have significantly devastating effects. To successfully and effectively navigate them however, you must develop a mindset that views them as opportunities rather than threats. In Part 2 of this article we share simple strategies to help you approach and handle challenging conversations with confidence.

© January 2025

I hope you have found this blog helpful. Please feel free to leave your comments. I would very much love to hear from you.

________________________________________

For more inspiring and empowering content to elevate your personal growth Sign up for our Personal Development Newsletter

_________________________________________

About The Author 
Mary Eniolu is a published author, professional speaker and certified trainer and coach. She is the founder of Can Do Academy, a training and development company offering CPD accredited training and coaching solutions to individuals and organizations, to enhance performance, achieve better results and enrich lives.

Check out our FREE RESOURCES HERE