Challenging conversations are an unavoidable part of both personal and professional life. Yet, many people choose to tiptoe around discomfort, fearing conflict, emotional reactions, or damaging the relationship. But what if these moments weren’t threats to avoid—but opportunities to grow, create real clarity, and strengthen trust?

When approached with intention and skill, tough conversations can become powerful turning points. In this article, I share six practical strategies to help you navigate these conversations with greater confidence and achieve positive outcomes.

SIX TIPS FOR NAVIGATING CHALLENGING CONVERSATIONS WITH CONFIDENCE

1. Shift Your Mindset From Obstacle to Opportunity – Instead of viewing the conversation as something to fear, see it as an opportunity—an opportunity for growth, for resolving a recurring issue, or for strengthening the relationship. This mindset reduces emotional resistance and allows you to approach the discussion with curiosity rather than defensiveness.

2. Focus on The Outcome You Want – Clarity of purpose is crucial. Rather than dwelling on who is to blame, anchor your attention on the outcome you want to achieve. This helps you shift from problem-focused to solution-focused thinking. Even if unexpected issues arise during the conversation, a clear desired outcome enables you to steer things back on course and avoid getting derailed.

3. Prepare in Advance – Preparation builds confidence. Gather relevant facts, anticipate possible reactions, and think through how you’ll respond. Choose a time and setting that supports a productive discussion. A thoughtful plan helps you remain steady and focused, even if the conversation becomes emotionally charged.

4. Use Open and Constructive Communication – Language matters. Avoid statements that blame, judge, or accuse. Instead, aim for clarity, openness, and empathy. Seek first to understand—then to be understood. Active listening, reflecting back what you hear, and showing empathy can dramatically shift the tone and outcome of the conversation.

5. Manage Your Emotions – Staying calm is essential. Tough conversations often trigger emotional responses, but your ability to regulate your own emotions sets the tone for the entire interaction. Remain professional, composed, and aware of both your emotions and theirs. This helps prevent escalation and keeps the conversation productive.

6. End on a Positive Note – Aim to conclude the conversation with clarity and momentum. Identify areas of agreement, establish shared expectations, and outline practical next steps. Ending positively reinforces collaboration and ensures that the discussion leads to meaningful action rather than unresolved tension.

CONCLUSION

You don’t have to keep walking on eggshells. With the right mindset and tools, difficult conversations can become catalysts for stronger relationships, clearer expectations, and healthier communication. By approaching tough discussions with preparation, empathy, and emotional steadiness, you create the conditions for positive outcomes—even in the most challenging moments.

© November 2025

I hope you have found this blog helpful. Please feel free to leave your comments. I would very much love to hear from you.

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About The Author 
Mary Eniolu is a published author, professional speaker and certified trainer and coach. She is the founder of Can Do Academy, a training and development company offering CPD accredited training and coaching solutions to individuals and organizations, to enhance performance, achieve better results and enrich lives.

Check out our FREE RESOURCES HERE

The post Stop Walking on Eggshells – Turning Tough Conversations into Positive Outcomes appeared first on CAN DO Academy.

Challenging conversations are an inevitable part of life, whether in the workplace, at home, or in social interactions. Yet, many people avoid them due to fear, discomfort, or uncertainty about the outcome.

While sidestepping difficult discussions may offer short-term relief, the long-term consequences can be damaging to individuals, teams, and entire organizations. In this article, we explore why people avoid challenging conversations, the dangers of avoidance, and how addressing difficult topics can lead to growth and success in both personal and professional life.

REASONS PEOPLE AVOID CHALLENGING CONVERSATIONS

1. Fear of Conflict – Many people worry that confronting an issue will lead to tension, arguments, or damaged relationships. They may fear that speaking up will escalate the situation rather than resolve it, leading to hostility or an emotional backlash that they are unprepared to handle.

2. Uncertainty About the Outcome – The fear of how the other person will react can cause hesitation. There may be concern that addressing a difficult issue could result in negative consequences such as retaliation, rejection, or an outcome that worsens the situation instead of improving it.

3. Emotional Discomfort – Addressing sensitive issues can trigger stress, anxiety, or guilt. Particularly if one is naturally wired to avoid confrontation, one may feel vulnerable discussing difficult topics, especially if they anticipate emotional reactions such as anger, sadness, or defensiveness from the other party.

4. Lack of Skills – Feeling as if you don’t have the necessary communication skills to handle difficult conversations effectively may cause you to hold back from dealing with them. Such individuals may struggle with articulating their thoughts clearly, staying calm under pressure, or managing the emotions of both themselves and the other party.

5. Desire to Maintain Harmony – Some people prioritize short-term peace over long-term clarity and resolution. They may believe that avoiding difficult discussions keeps relationships intact and prevents unnecessary friction, even if the unresolved issues continue to fester beneath the surface.

6. Previous Negative Experiences – A past conversation that ended badly can create apprehension about engaging in another. If someone has experienced rejection, hostility, or a lack of resolution in previous discussions, they may develop an aversion to confronting similar situations in the future.

While these concerns are understandable, avoiding tough conversations can lead to negative repercussions that far outweigh the discomfort of the discussion itself, both for the individual, the team and the organisation. Here is why.

DANGERS OF AVOIDING CHALLENGING CONVERSATIONS

For the Individual:

• Increased Stress and Anxiety – Suppressing concerns or frustrations can lead to emotional strain.
• Damaged Relationships – Resentment can build over time, eroding trust and mutual respect.
• Missed Opportunities for Growth – Avoidance prevents individuals from developing crucial conflict resolution and communication skills.
• Lower Self-Esteem – Failing to address important issues can lead to self-doubt and a feeling of powerlessness.

For the Team:

• Lack of Trust and Respect – When concerns are not openly discussed, team members may struggle with trust and collaboration and lose the respect of the leader.
• Reduced Productivity – Unspoken issues can lead to lack of motivation, low morale, misalignment, and disengagement, which could all affect productivity.
• Toxic Work Environment – Unresolved tensions can foster gossip, passive-aggressiveness, and a negative atmosphere.
• Missed Innovation and Creativity – Open dialogue encourages the sharing of ideas; when avoided, innovation may be stifled.

For the Organization:

• High Employee Turnover – Unaddressed conflicts can lead to dissatisfaction, high levels of stress and fulfillment, which could result in resignations .
• Weakened Leadership – Leaders who avoid difficult conversations may be seen as ineffective or lacking authority.
• Erosion of Company Culture – A culture of avoidance can undermine core values and create a disengaged workforce.
• Reputation Damage – When unresolved issues become public, they can harm an organization’s credibility and brand.

CONCLUSION

While avoiding difficult conversations might offer a false sense of peace and harmony, in the long term, they could have significantly devastating effects. To successfully and effectively navigate them however, you must develop a mindset that views them as opportunities rather than threats. In Part 2 of this article we share simple strategies to help you approach and handle challenging conversations with confidence.

© January 2025

I hope you have found this blog helpful. Please feel free to leave your comments. I would very much love to hear from you.

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For more inspiring and empowering content to elevate your personal growth Sign up for our Personal Development Newsletter

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About The Author 
Mary Eniolu is a published author, professional speaker and certified trainer and coach. She is the founder of Can Do Academy, a training and development company offering CPD accredited training and coaching solutions to individuals and organizations, to enhance performance, achieve better results and enrich lives.

Check out our FREE RESOURCES HERE

The post Walking on Eggshells – The High Cost of Avoiding Challenging Conversations appeared first on CAN DO Academy.

How many times have you been fired up by a book, talk, or event, only to find yourself back where you started a few weeks later? It’s a common struggle. Many get discouraged and quit pursuing their goals when they don’t see immediate results, forgetting that real change comes from consistent action over time, not from a single inspiring moment. This is where the power of the Compound Effect comes in—the strategy of reaping big rewards from small, consistent actions.

Forming new habits or breaking old ones takes time. Just like building physical muscles, building mental muscles requires patience. Even when it seems like nothing is happening, know that every small step creates an effect, even if you can’t see it yet. Just like planting a seed, growth often happens below the surface before it becomes visible.

Here are four keys leveraging The Compound Effect:

1. Start Small

James Hardy said it best: “Small disciplines repeated consistently everyday lead to great achievements gained slowly over time.” Don’t overwhelm yourself by trying to tackle everything at once. If you’re trying to get healthier, don’t commit to cutting out all sugar, running three mornings a week, and hitting the gym five times a week. Start with something manageable. The goal is to build your consistency muscle, so begin with something small and achievable.

 2. Be Patient

We live in a fast-paced world, but great things take time. Don’t be fooled by the success stories you see on social media—there’s no such thing as overnight success. Be patient with yourself, and when you stumble, get back up and keep going. Small actions, done consistently over time, lead to great achievements.

3. Stay Disciplined

Don’t just act when you feel like it, act because it’s the right thing to do. Successful people often don’t enjoy the hard work anymore than anyone else, but they do it because they’re driven by their purpose and vision. Some days, motivation will be high; other days, it won’t. That’s when discipline comes in—the ability to keep your promises to yourself, no matter what. Starting small helps, as it’s easier to stick to manageable tasks.

4. Be Accountable 

Accountability is powerful. You’re more likely to stick to your goals when someone is holding you accountable. This is one of the biggest benefits of having a coach or accountability partner. How often have you made plans to change but let life get in the way? When someone is expecting progress, you’re less likely to let distractions take over.

Conclusion

The longer you delay something you know you should do, the less likely you are to ever do it. Stop procrastinating and start taking small steps today. Use these four tips to harness the power of the Compound Effect and make real progress toward your goals.

© October 2024

I hope you have found this blog helpful. Please feel free to leave your comments. I would very much love to hear from you.

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Need help to remain consistent in taking the action necessary to achieve your goals? Join our Intentional Living Mastermind

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Mary Eniolu – Speaker, Trainer, and Coach
Mary is an author, professional speaker and certified trainer, and coach. She is the founder of Can Do Academy, a training and development company offering CPD accredited training and coaching solutions to individuals and organizations, to enhance performance, achieve better results and enrich lives.

Check out our FREE RESOURCES HERE

The post Leveraging The Compound Effect appeared first on CAN DO Academy.

In today’s fast-paced world, the temptation to do everything can be overwhelming. However, the pursuit of doing it all often leads to burnout, decreased quality, and inefficiency. Instead, adopting a “less is more” approach—where you focus on doing fewer tasks but with greater intention and quality—can significantly boost your productivity.

Here are five compelling reasons why doing less can actually mean achieving more.

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1. Enhanced Focus on High-Impact Tasks

Limiting your to-do list to the most important tasks frees up mental space, allowing you to focus deeply and work more efficiently and effectively, producing higher-quality results. By prioritizing what truly matters, you make meaningful progress toward your goals.

 2. Set Clear Goals and Prioritize Accordingly

Juggling too many tasks exhausts your mental energy, leading to decision fatigue. By focusing on fewer tasks, you reduce the number of decisions you need to make, preserving energy for more important choices and keeping your mind clear.

3. Increased Creativity and Innovation

Creativity thrives in an uncluttered mind. When you’re not overwhelmed, your brain has the freedom to explore, innovate, and solve problems more effectively, giving you a competitive edge.

4. Improved Quality of Work 

Trying to do too much often results in mistakes and lower-quality work. By concentrating on fewer tasks, you can devote the necessary time and attention to each, ensuring that the work you produce is of the highest standard.

5. Greater Satisfaction and Well-Being

Constantly chasing an endless to-do list is exhausting. Focusing on quality over quantity, and what’s important over what’s pressing creates space for important things like rest, reflection, and personal growth, leading to greater satisfaction, improved well-being, and ultimately, increased productivity.

Conclusion

The idea that less could mean more might seem counterintuitive, but it’s a powerful strategy for enhancing productivity and well-being. By focusing on the most important tasks, reducing decision fatigue, fostering creativity, improving work quality, and enhancing your overall satisfaction, you’ll find that doing less can actually help you achieve more—both in your work and in your life

© August 2024

I hope you have found this blog helpful. Please feel free to leave your comments. I would very much love to hear from you.

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Need help gaining clarity on the exact activities you should be focusing on to drive the results you want and help you achieve your goals? Our Personal Productivity Accelerator might just be what you need! Find out more here.

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Mary Eniolu – Speaker, Trainer, and Coach
Mary is an author, professional speaker and certified trainer, and coach. She is the founder of Can Do Academy, a training and development company offering CPD accredited training and coaching solutions to individuals and organizations, to enhance performance, achieve better results and enrich lives.

Check out our FREE RESOURCES HERE

The post Doing Less – Achieving More appeared first on CAN DO Academy.

Procrastination is not only a time thief, but also a killer of dreams. If left uncurbed, it will lead to missed opportunities, increased stress and anxiety, mediocre performance, and possibly low self-esteem as your results fail to match your dreams and capability.

In this article, we’ll explore five tips to help you overcome this productivity killer.

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1. Identify The Root Cause

Understanding why you procrastinate is the first step to overcoming it. Take some time to reflect on what triggers your procrastination. Common causes include fear of failure, lack of motivation, perfectionism or simply a lack of knowledge on the subject matter.

If you fear failure, you will procrastinate on taking action. It’s your brain’s way of protecting you from the pain and disappointment of the perceived failure if you don’t get the desired outcome.

It’s not always easy getting to the real root cause of our procrastination. It often presents as one thing, when in reality, it something else. Engaging a coach could help you gain clarity on exactly what is holding you back, so you can deal with it.

 2. Set Clear Goals and Prioritize Accordingly

When the mind is confused, it will do nothing. Most of us have dozens of things we could be doing in any particular day. With no clear direction or goal, it becomes a humongous task trying to decide what to do first and in that place of indecision, we start procrastinating and end up doing nothing.

Having a clear goal makes it easier to decide what tasks to focus on first, and which will help you achieve your goal the quickest. It’s easier to implement a plan of action, when you actually have one!

3. Schedule Your Priorities

Simply having a “To Do List” is not sufficient. It’s important to actually schedule the tasks you have decided to prioritise in any particular day, into specific time slots on your calendar. This will give you structure, create a sense of urgency and help you stay focused and organised. If you don’t tell your time where to go, you give it permission to go wherever it pleases.

When scheduling your priorities, don’t be tempted to tackle the simple tasks first because they will take less time and you can quickly tick them off. Instead schedule your tasks in order of importance and deadlines. If you need to, break your work into smaller, manageable tasks. You are less likely to procrastinate on a task that will take you six hours if you schedule 30 minutes each day to work on it, than if you tried to get it all done in one 6-hour slot.

4. Eliminate Distractions

Now you have scheduled your priorities, you need to prioritise your schedule. It’s no use spending time to identify your priorities, and scheduling them in your calendar, if you allow distractions prevent you from keeping to the schedule.

Identify what typically distracts you and take steps to eliminate them. This could include turning off notifications on your devices, switching off your mobile phone or putting it on silent for certain periods of time. Setting up a dedicated workspace, using website blockers during work hours will all help you stay focussed. We like to believe we are so important, that we need to be reachable 24 hours each day and seven days a week. This is of course not true. Do not underestimate the unimportance of most things.

5. Make Yourself Accountable

Being accountable to yourself or others can boost your motivation massively. It will help you stay focused and consistent and keep you on track. Knowing that someone is aware of the goal you have set and is keeping tabs on your progress, will cause you to work diligently to meet those expectations even when faced with challenges or distractions.

For someone trying to beat procrastination, I would highly recommend you don’t trust yourself to hold you accountable. Make yourself accountable to someone else. Someone you know will not let you get away with making excuses, but who will also encourage you not to give up no matter the number of times you fail to hit your targets. This is one of the main reasons people will engage a coach, to have a trusted partner hold them accountable to achieving their goals.

Procrastination is a habit that is common to most, but it can be beaten! By recognizing the negative impact it can have, and implementing the tips provided, you can overcome procrastination and unlock your full potential in your career and business. Watch this video for more tips on beating procrastination.

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I hope you have found this blog helpful. Please feel free to leave your comments. I would very much love to hear from you.

Mary Eniolu – Speaker, Trainer, and Coach
Mary is an author, professional speaker and certified trainer, and coach. She is the founder of Can Do Academy, a training and development company offering CPD accredited training and coaching solutions to individuals and organizations, to enhance performance, achieve better results and enrich lives.

Check out our FREE RESOURCES HERE
© 2024

The post Five Tips To Beating Procrastination appeared first on CAN DO Academy.

In life’s dynamic journey, we often face challenges in our relationships, whether personal or professional. Stress can disrupt these connections, causing turmoil that may tempt us to abandon ship. Yet, with the right tools and mindset, we can navigate these rough waters and guide our relationships back to calmer seas.

Here are six strategies that will help if you find yourself on rocky waters with any of your relationships.

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1. Keep The Communication Channels Open

When faced with relationship challenges, the instinct is often to withdraw and shut down communication as a means of self-protection. However, this can exacerbate the situation. Keeping communication open, no matter how uncomfortable, is crucial for potential reconciliation or resolution.

 2. Accept That You Have a Part to Play

In relationships, it’s common to blame the other person when things go awry, but this perspective may not reflect reality. Acknowledging our own role, no matter how small, is essential for healing and restoring the relationship. Remember it always takes two to tango!

3. Acknowledge The Other Person and Empathise

Conflict often stems from differing perspectives, where our perception shapes our reality, even if it doesn’t align with the actual truth. Validating the other person’s viewpoint, even if we don’t agree, fosters openness and receptiveness to dialogue. Our unique perspectives influence how we interpret experiences and respond to them, underscoring the importance of empathy and understanding in our interactions.

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood” – Stephen Covey

4. Address the Issue Without Attacking the Person

Conflict is natural in relationships but need not be detrimental. If managed properly, it can even strengthen them. Constructive conflict resolution involves addressing the issue rather than attacking the individual. Taking ownership of your feelings and expressing them without blame fosters a more constructive dialogue. For example, saying “I felt undermined when my idea was discarded” is more productive than “You made me feel undermined by discarding my idea.

5. Let Go of the Need to be Right.

In relationships, prioritizing doing what’s best over being right is key. Instead of creating a divisive “me versus you” dynamic by focusing solely on being right, concentrate on the desired outcome and how to collectively progress towards it. This approach fosters common ground and facilitates bridge-building. Remember if you insist on being right, it means the other person must be wrong. Nobody loves being wrong.

6. Invest in Your Personal Development

The more we grow individually and accumulate emotional strength, the better we handle challenges in relationships. Investing in personal growth enhances understanding, broadens perspective, and provides the wisdom needed to navigate relationship difficulties effectively.

“We don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are” ― Anaïs Nin

Every relationship encounters storms, but with patience, perseverance, and these strategies in your toolkit, you can navigate through them with grace and resilience.

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I hope you have found this blog helpful. Please feel free to leave your comments. I would very much love to hear from you.

Mary Eniolu – Speaker, Trainer, and Coach
Mary is an author, professional speaker and certified trainer, and coach. She is the founder of Can Do Academy, a training and development company offering CPD accredited training and coaching solutions to individuals and organizations, to enhance performance, achieve better results and enrich lives.

One of our areas of expertise is communication and inter-personal skills. Discover your unique communication style here 
© 2024

The post Weathering The Storm – Building Relationship Resilience appeared first on CAN DO Academy.

Communication is more than just words on a screen or the sound of a voice through a speaker. It’s about understanding, empathy, and building relationships. Whether it’s a virtual meeting, an email exchange, or a social media interaction, the ability to connect with others on a human level remains paramount.

Here are some strategies to creating connecting conversations even in a highly digital world.

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1. Be Authentic

People can spot a fake a mile away. Be genuine in your interactions. Share your thoughts, experiences, and emotions openly and honestly. Share personal stories and show genuine interest. In others In order to be authentic, your words, thoughts, feelings, and actions have to be congruent. Who we really are always speaks louder than what we say.

 “Who you are speaks so loudly I cannot hear what you are saying” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

2. Listen Actively

In a world filled with distractions, being an active listener sets you apart. Pay attention to what others are saying without interrupting or formulating your response prematurely. I know this can be very difficult depending on your personality type, especially when you are convinced you know exactly where they are headed and what they are about to say. It can be tempting to want to jump in to save everyone some time, don’t do it. People won’t listen unless they feel they’ve been listened to. Listening to understand rather than to respond demonstrates respect and fosters deeper connections.

3. Be Empathetic

Seek to understand the perspectives and feelings of others. It does not mean you have to agree with their point of view, but empathy bridges the gap between individuals and cultivates a sense of understanding and compassion. So, seek first to understand, then to be understood.

4. Be Clear and Concise

In a digital world where attention spans are fleeting, clarity is key. Put some thought into the message you want to get across and the intended recipients. Put yourself in their shoes and think about the most effective way you can communicate the message so the recipient can understand and receive it. Use simple language and avoid jargon whenever possible. You don’t make a basket when the ball leaves your hand, but when it lands in the net.

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place” – George Bernard Shaw

5. Make Time and Effort

Despite the promises of technological progress to streamline our activities, the truth is, we’ve ended up setting higher expectations for ourselves regarding daily productivity. Consequently, we find ourselves busier than ever before. However, if genuine connection is what you seek, carving out time and proactively initiating meaningful conversations becomes imperative. Building meaningful connections requires time and demands dedication and energy, yet the rewards far outweigh the investment.

The art of communicating to connect is more important than ever in our increasingly digital world. By embracing these strategies, we can foster deeper connections and build more meaningful relationships, both personally and professionally. So, let’s strive to communicate not just to convey information but to truly connect with others on a human level.

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I hope you have found this blog helpful. Please feel free to leave your comments. I would very much love to hear from you.

Mary Eniolu – Speaker, Trainer, and Coach
Mary is an author, professional speaker and certified trainer, and coach. She is the founder of Can Do Academy, a training and development company offering CPD accredited training and coaching solutions to individuals and organizations, helping them to achieve peak performance and desired outcomes.

One of our areas of expertise is communication. Find out more about our Communication Skills Workshop here
© 2024

The post How To Create Connecting Conversations appeared first on CAN DO Academy.

Being able to stand in public and speak before an audience will do wonders for your confidence and increase your influence and impact. Yet public speaking remains the number one fear for most people, but it’s a skill and like any skill it can be learned. In this article I’ll be sharing five tips to help you give an unforgettable talk.

1. Pick The Right Topic

Don’t just pick a topic because it’s something you love talking about or something you’re even good at. Pick a topic that is right for the audience. Like motivational speaker Les Brown says, “Don’t let what you want to say get in the way of what the audience needs to hear.”

So, think about something that will add value to the audience. Also make sure it’s something you can talk about authentically as well, so that what you are talking about matches your beliefs, your values, and your own lived experience.

2. What’s The Main Point You Want To Make? 

Get absolutely clear on the main point or points you want your audience to leave with. What’s the main thing you want them to walk away with from your talk? This would appear obvious, but how many times have you walked away from a talk or presentation asking yourself “what was that all about?” So, get clear on the main point you want the audience to leave with and wrap everything else around that point.

It’s also important not to overload your audience. It’s pointless giving them three points when they will only remember one and it’s even worse giving them six points and they end up remembering none.

3. Use Stories 

We all love a good story, and we tend to remember them. You might not remember all the data and even the point the speaker was trying to make, but you will remember the story, especially if it’s a good one. So, use stories to make your point. Use your own life story, use other people’s stories, use hypothetical stories, it does not really matter. Just make sure it’s making a point number. So, make a point, tell a story. Tell a story, make a point.

4. Use Humour

We all love to laugh. It makes us feel good and people learn better when they are having fun. Your audience might not remember what you say, but they will remember how you made them feel and most of us feel good when we laugh. Even if you don’t consider yourself to be a funny person, read a funny story, read out a funny joke. You might read it, and it comes out flat or dry. Don’t worry about it. People might laugh because it fell so flat, but they will still remember. So don’t be afraid to use humour, even if you don’t consider yourself to be a funny person.

5. Use The Power Of The Pause

When you’re speaking and you’re going on and on and on, it’s very easy for people to zone out and your voice just becomes background noise. However, if you pause just before you make a point or just after you make a point, it makes that point hit home. So, learn to use the power of the pause.

If you will imbibe these five tips in your next talk, whether it’s a 3-minute or 45-minute talk, you stand a real good chance of being able to give an unforgettable talk. Don’t forget public speaking is a skill and the more you practice, the better you’ll get at it.

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I hope you have found this blog helpful. Please feel free to leave your comments. I would very much love to hear from you.

Mary Eniolu – Speaker, Trainer, and Coach
Mary is a solicitor and professional speaker, trainer, and coach. She is the founder of Can Do Academy, a training and development company offering Institute of Leadership and Management approved and CPD accredited training and coaching solutions to individuals and organizations, helping them to achieve peak performance and desired outcomes.

If you would like to improve your speaking skills, join our next Public Speaking Made Easy Workshop here
© 2023

The post 5 Tips For An Unforgettable Talk appeared first on CAN DO Academy.

The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives. Our happiness, well-being, fulfilment, success or failure in business or career are all dependent on our relationships. Teddy Roosevelt sums it up nicely when he says, “The single most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.” In this article, I share 4 tips that will enrich your relationships and help you get along with anybody!

Why are relationships so important? The answer is simple, because we are all salespeople. Whatever field you are in, and whatever your job or business. Whether you are employed, self-employed or retired, every day, we are all trying to sell something to someone. It could be an idea, a concept, a product, a service, a vision.

As a parent you could be trying to sell the benefits of a university education to your child, or one holiday destination over the other. As CEO, you may want to sell your vision for your business or non-profit to your employees. As a business owner, of course, your product or service to a prospect. Whatever the object, we are always trying to sell something to someone and as the saying goes – people buy from people!

Consider this question. Have you ever found yourself in a position where you needed help, perhaps assistance from someone at work, or maybe in your personal life, and you knew someone who could assist you with the problem, but you were very reluctant to ask them? In fact, you ended up not asking them because you did not like them. I bet you are nodding right now and saying yes, I’ve been there. You end up losing out because you just could not bring yourself to ask them for help, even though you knew they could have helped you. This is how important relationships are!

I am not talking about liking everybody, or getting everybody to like you. However in a world where personal, professional and business success is increasingly dependent upon collaboration, it is not enough to know how to get along with like-minded people, but we must also learn to get along with and work with people that are not like us. So here are four tips that if you truly embrace them and start to put them into practice, will help you get along with just anybody!

1. Value People More Than Opinions

Truly value people. I say truly because sometimes we act like we value people because of what we want to get from them. We see that all the time, where companies pay lip service to the notion of people first, but when the rubber hits the road, we see these same companies making choices that in no way reflects the value of “people first”. Don’t just value people because of what you think you can get from them, but truly value people simply because they are people. They are humans just like you and they deserve to be valued.

Value people more than opinions. I can’t even begin to count the number of times I have seen people fall out with each other because of differing opinions. The fact that someone has a different opinion to you does not necessarily make them a bad person and you a good person, they just have a different opinion and guess what, that opinion could change tomorrow. So why would you jeopardise the chances of developing what could end up being a really great relationship with someone just because they have a different opinion to you today? Tomorrow, they could become more enlightened, their level of awareness could have been raised and they could change their opinion and if you’ve cut them off because of the opinion they held yesterday you miss out on what that relationship could have brought you, so value people more than opinions.

2. Put Energy Into Being Likeable

You may know some people that are just naturally likeable. You meet them for the very first time and they just have this vibe, this energy about them and you just love being with them. I have met people like that as well. I however also know people who you might not necessarily get attracted to, instantly, and I don’t mean in a sexual way, but there are some people you meet, that you don’t instantly get drawn to. However, when you do get to know them you, find that they are really nice, really lovely. I am sure you know people like that as well.

Now here is the thing, first impressions really do matter and as it is true that you don’t get a second opportunity to make a great first impression. So, what if I never get the opportunity to really get to know you, to find out that you are really a nice person after all? When I share this tip with people, I would often have someone say “but I need to be myself” I am not asking you not to be yourself, I am asking you to be more intentional in how you present yourself. So, if for example you are naturally a blunt “say it as it is” kind of person, put energy into finding means of still being honest and truthful, without being annoying. Put energy into being likeable. You will find that life is so much easier when people like you.

3. Follow The Golden Rule

What is the Golden Rule? Do to others what you would have them do to you. Just think
about how much more wonderful and pleasant and how much happier we would all be, if everyone really embraced and practiced this golden rule? It is tempting to want to retaliate when people treat us bad, and to act in the same way towards them. You disrespect me, I disrespect you back. Someone cheats me, I cheat the next person I come across, but in the words of Mahatma Gandhi, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world”

When you allow others to dictate how you live your life, you give them your power. When you are mean to others because someone was mean to you, or you bully others because someone bullied you, you allow them to control your life. Take back your power, break the circle and say, “No it ends here with me”! Irrespective of the maybe unpleasant experiences you have had, you determine I will treat others not necessarily as I have been treated, but how I want to be treated. I will respect others because I want to be respected. I will value others because I want to be valued. I will be kind to others because I want to be shown kindness.

4. Follow The 101 Principle

What is the 101 principle? According to John C. Maxwell, this is when you find out the one thing you have in common with the people you are dealing with and give it 100% of your energy. Most of us do the opposite. We focus all our energy on the one thing we don’t have in common and put all our energy into that one thing and we end up saying we don’t have anything in common. Listen you have something in common with every single person in this world. For starters you’re both human beings! So, find that one thing you have in common and put a 100% of your energy into that. Find common ground and start from there and you’ll be amazed at where the relationship goes with time if you would just focus on what you have in common rather than focusing on the differences.

I challenge you to embrace these four Relationship Rules and start to practice them, not just with people you like, but with everyone in your life and you will be amazed at the transformation that will start to take place in your relationships. You are where you are today largely because of the relationships you’ve had in the past and you will be tomorrow where the relationships you form today will influence and take you, so be intentional about your relationships because they will make or break you.

If you would like to find out more about how to build strong, meaningful, long-lasting relationships that enrich your life, check out our connect and relate workshop.

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Credit to John C. Maxwell

I hope you have found this blog helpful. Please feel free to leave your comments. I would very much love to hear from you.

Mary Eniolu – Speaker, Trainer, and Coach
Mary is a solicitor and professional speaker, trainer, and coach. She is the founder of Can Do Academy, a training and development company offering Institute of Leadership and Management approved and CPD accredited training and coaching solutions to individuals and organizations, helping them to achieve peak performance and desired outcomes.

Join our next Connect and Relate Workshop here
© 2022

The post How To Get Along With Anybody appeared first on CAN DO Academy.

Do you get nervous when you have to give a presentation in front of a group? Do your hands shake, your mouth goes dry, and your mind goes blank? If so, don’t worry – you’re not alone! In fact, fear of public speaking is often cited as the Number one fear for over 75% of the population. You need not be a part of this statistic. By following these tips, you can learn how to overcome your fear of public speaking and give talks and presentations that engage and inspire your audience and increase your impact and influence.

1. Preparation is essential – Know your topic inside and out

Public speaking can be a daunting task, even for the most experienced speakers. The key to success is preparation. Before you step up to the podium, take the time to get to know two things. Firstly, know your topic inside and out. Be clear on the key points you want to make and be prepared to answer any questions that might come up. Secondly, know your audience. Find out as much as possible about those you will be speaking to. This will put you in a better position to serve them. Consider their needs and expectations, and tailor your message accordingly. By preparing, you’ll give yourself the best chance of making a great presentation or giving a powerful talk.

2. Make an excellent first impression by dressing professionally and arriving on time

Making a good first impression is essential in many situations, including speaking in public or just meeting someone for the first time. There is never a second opportunity to make a good first impression, so it’s important you get it right the first time! There are several things you can do to make an excellent first impression, such as dressing appropriately and arriving on time.

First impressions are made within the first few seconds of meeting someone, so it’s essential to make sure you’re putting your best foot forward. Dressing professionally shows that you’re taking the situation seriously and helps to build trust. It can also help boost your self-confidence and your audience’s confidence in you. Arriving on time shows that you respect your audience’s time and are organized. If you can master making good first impressions, you’ll be sure to set yourself up for success in any situation.

3. Use clear, concise language that everyone can understand

When communicating, it is always essential to ensure the person you are in communication with understands what it is you are communicating. This becomes especially important when speaking in public, as you want to ensure that your audience can follow along and grasp the main points of your talk. There are a few ways to achieve this. Firstly, use simple, clear, everyday language and avoid jargon or technical terms. Secondly, be concise, direct, and to the point. Get rid of any unnecessary words or filler phrases. Thirdly, slow down and enunciate your words. You can ensure that your message comes across loud and clear by following these tips.

4. Be aware of your body language

When it comes to communication, remember our words account for only 7% of what our audience believes, our tone accounts for 38% and our body language accounts for 55%. So, our body language accounts for the largest percentage of what we are communicating. Our physical expressions, such as posture, gestures, and facial expressions, convey messages. Although body language is often subconscious, it can have a powerful impact on how others perceive us. For example, speaking with confident body language can make us appear more credible and competent while speaking with negative body language can make us seem nervous or uncomfortable.

When speaking in public, it is important that we are aware of our body language and use positive gestures to convey our message. For instance, instead of crossing your arms or fidgeting, maintain an open stance and make eye contact with your audience. Also keeping a smile on your face, if it is appropriate to do so, depending on what you are talking about, could make your audience warm up to you. Using positive body language can help you effectively communicate your message and make a positive impression on your audience.

5. See yourself Succeeding

The reason most people get nervous when asked to speak in public is they envision all the things that could go wrong and believe it! They imagine everything that could go wrong, from forgetting their words to tripping over and falling as they get up on stage and everything in between. By imagining all of these negative outcomes, you programme your subconscious mind with the idea of failing, and because the subconscious mind does not know the difference between what is real and imagined, the body starts to act out what is in the mind, resulting in shaking hands, dry mouth, racing heart and all of the other negative symptoms.

Instead of imagining everything going wrong, visualize yourself succeeding, giving a powerful presentation, and visualize the audience standing up to give you a standing ovation. Remember that everyone in the room is there to listen to what you have to say, so visualize your audience as friendly faces instead of a sea of strangers. Doing this frequently will help you reprogramme your mindset from a failure to a success mindset and help you lose those nerves.

6. Practice, practice, practice!

 If you’re looking to improve your speaking skills, there’s no substitute for practice. The more you speak in front of an audience, the more confident and polished you’ll become. And while it’s always helpful to have someone give you feedback on your performance, there’s no need to wait for a formal occasion to get started. Just start practicing whenever and wherever you can. Record yourself giving a practice speech, and then listen back to see how you can improve.

You could also try speaking extemporaneously on a topic for a set amount of time, such as two minutes. The goal is to get comfortable speaking off the cuff so that when it comes time for a formal presentation, you’ll be able to handle whatever comes your way. So go ahead and start practicing today – your future self will thank you for it.

I hope you have found this blog helpful. Please feel free to leave your comments. I would very much love to hear from you.

Remember if you say you can, you are right and if you say you can’t, you are right!

Mary Eniolu – Speaker, Trainer, and Coach

Mary is a solicitor and professional speaker, trainer, and coach. She is the founder of Can Do Academy, a training and development company offering Institute of Leadership and Management approved and CPD accredited training and coaching solutions to individuals and organizations, helping them increase performance and to achieve desired outcomes.

Join our next Public Speaking Made Easy Workshop here

© 2022

The post 6 Tips To Improve Your Public Speaking appeared first on CAN DO Academy.