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12 Apr 2020

Why You Should Develop A Positive Life Stance

Attitude they say is everything and it is true. Your attitude will determine your altitude. It will determine your approach and your approach will determine your results. Napoleon Hill, the author of the bestseller “Think and Grow Rich” said every adversity, every failure, and every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit. That is quite an incredible statement but I believe it is true. There is an opportunity in every obstacle and we can turn adversity into an advantage but it all really does depend on our attitude.

It is easy to have a good attitude when things are going right. It’s when things go wrong that it becomes difficult and that is exactly when attitude really matters. Now while having a positive attitude is powerful, I believe having a positive life stance is twice as powerful because when you find yourself tempted to get negative, having a general positive life stance will help you get back on track and help you bounce back with positivity.

What is a positive life stance?

This is your overall frame of reference. It is how you see life, your perspective and as you know, your perspective is your reality. Your life stance is made up of your attitudes and the assumptions and expectations you have of yourself, others, and the world at large. So ask yourself do you have a positive or negative life stance? Do you have a positive attitude towards yourself and others? What about your assumptions and expectations? Do you assume and expect the best of others and of the world in general or do you assume and expect the worst? Do you for example assume and expect people to be kind and helpful to you or do you expect them to be mean and horrible. You see the assumptions you make and the expectations you have of people will determine how you approach them and your approach will determine the results you get. To a large extent, we get what we expect from life, not what we want or even what we deserve. Do you see how important this is? The way we see it really is the way it will be for us. Your life stance will determine whether you are optimistic or pessimistic, trusting or suspicious, giving or selfish. It will absolutely determine how you live.

5 Facts to help you develop a positive life stance

Let me share with you five facts I believe will help you maintain a positive life stance.

  1. Life comes with both good and bad
  2. Some of the good and some of the bad, I can’t control
  3. Some of the good and some of the bad will find you, irrespective of you
  4. If I maintain a positive life stance, both the good and the bad will get better but if I maintain a negative life stance, both the good and the bad will get worse
  5. It is entirely up to me which I choose

I don’t know about you, but I find fact 5 extremely empowering. The choice is mine. I have the power to choose my attitude and therefore determine my altitude.

How to turn Pain to Gain

One of the reasons people become bitter and develop a negative life stance is because of some painful or a number of painful experiences in their past. However, allowing past failures hurts, or disappointments to keep us locked into negativity is simply allowing ourselves to become prisoners of our past. By holding on to those bad experiences, we deprive ourselves the opportunities of creating pleasant experiences to replace them. None of us can ever go back to their past to change it, but we can all start from where we are right now to create a better future for ourselves, but this will not happen if we maintain a negative life stance.

So how do we turn our pain to gain? Apart from maintaining a positive life stance, we must determine to treat every painful experience as a lesson, not a life sentence. Understand that there is no shame in failing, only lessons to be learned. Warren G. Lester said “Success in life comes not from holding a good hand, but in playing a poor hand well” You may feel like life has thrown you a curve and you have been dealt a bad hand, and it is all unfair but the way you win is by determining not to allow the experience make you bitter, but better. Take some time to reflect on the experience and ask yourself some questions like How do I feel? Why do I feel the way I feel? Is there anything I could have done differently, what can I learn from this? What changes can I and should I make as a result. Socrates said, “The unexamined life is a life not worth living”. Reflecting on past experiences, both good and bad enables us to turn the experiences into insights. Insights that make us wiser and better. Consequently, rather than remembering the painful experiences with anger, pain, shame, or resentment, we actually become thankful for them because we come to see them as the catalyst that propelled us into growth and great gain.

Pain or gain, bitter or better, adversity or advantage, a negative or positive life stance, the choice is yours. Choose wisely!

By Mary Eniolu

12 April 2020

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